Julie Chen Moonves is finally sharing details for the first time about her departure from The Talk in 2018. According to her, leaving the CBS daytime show was not entirely her choice; but she was forced to leave.

“That was a hard time,” Chen Moonves, 53, told Good Morning America on Monday, while promoting her new audio memoir, But First, God. “I felt stabbed in the back. I was, you know.”

Chen Moonves departed from her role on The Talk in September 2018 after serving as the moderator for eight years.

Her departure coincided with her husband Les Moonves’ removal from CBS, which occurred in the wake of allegations of sexual misconduct made by more than a dozen women.

Despite the allegations against her husband, she supported him publicly. “He has always been a kind, decent and moral human being,” she wrote in a social media post in July 2018. “I fully support my husband and stand behind him and his statement.”

“Julie Chen before she found God was self-absorbed, career-minded, vain, gossipy — fun to be with, but probably kind of a shallow person,” she said on GMA Monday. “Julie Chen Moonves, who now knows the Lord, is someone who wants to help others; who wants to look at everyone with a soft heart.”

Chen Moonves reflected that faith is what gave her peace about her departure from The Talk. “I don’t know if I could have reconciled if I didn’t have God in my life,” she said.